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Synopsis:
Worth It
by Nicki DeStasi
Anna
lives every day the best she can while struggling against the demons
that threaten to consume her and drag her back into the darkness of
her troubled past. The last thing she needs right now is a guy,
especially one as sweet and sexy as Jed.
When
the attraction becomes too strong to resist, she gives into it. Even
when she knows it’ll only end in disaster and leave her more her
scared and broken than she was before.
Jed
wants to find the right woman and he’s drawn to Anna by carnal
magnetism, but she also brings out an alpha side of him that he’s
never known. When his alpha rears its head, it triggers memories in
Anna and her carefully crafted wall of protection begins to show
cracks.
When
fate and misunderstandings threaten their already delicate
relationship, can they survive? When Anna’s demons threaten to be
unearthed and Jed’s inner alpha only seem to make them worse, can
they overcome?
Is
it even worth it?
Author Bio
Nicki DeStasi, Author
Nicki DeStasi was raised in a small town in Massachusetts. She attended Fitchburg State College and studied Early Childhood Education. As a child, she enjoyed reading, but only recently began doing it again. She has always had an inventive imagination and finally decided to put those ideas on paper for others to enjoy. Worth It will be Nicki’s first self-published book. A few personal facts: Sloth from The Goonies is her third cousin, she acted and stared in several plays throughout high school and college, and she can play four different instruments. Nicki’s philosophy is to appreciate the good things in life. If we didn’t make mistakes and have bad things happen then we wouldn’t know how truly wonderful the good things are. No matter how difficult life is sometimes, if we look to the people that love us, then we can get through them and on to the good stuff.
Excerpt#1:
The
Past: Anna
A
few weeks later, I approach the lunch table, and Shannon shouts,
“Happy birthday!” I think she enjoys embarrassing me. The smile
on my best friend’s is the only thing that stops me from smacking
her.
“Why
don’t you say it a little louder Shan, I don’t think people
across the street heard you,” I mutter as I plop in between her and
Jared.
She
rolls her eyes. “Smile, it’s your birthday. You’re not allowed
to be grumpy.”
Jared
snakes an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a half hug and
plops his usual friendly kiss on my head. “Happy birthday,
beautiful. How does it feel to be fifteen like the rest of us?”
“Feels
like any other day. It kinda sucks to be born in the fall though.”
I smile up at him as our hug separates. Until I met Todd, I wanted
Jared. He’s sweet and gorgeous with dark brown hair and matching
eyes. My eyes shift and catch his newest girlfriend scowling at us. A
month ago, her presence would be a smack in the face, a reminder that
my feelings weren’t shared. But now I have someone who does
share my feeling.
Thinking
about him, my eyes drift around the cafeteria to see if I can catch a
glimpse of Todd. Even though we’ve officially been dating a month,
he still doesn’t want people to know that we’re together, and
that is a little jab to my heart. I don’t want him to be
embarrassed of me, but I try and understand. I want to make him
happy, so I swallow my disappointment.
“Who
are you looking for?” Alison asks. Alison and Aaron, who are
dating, are the final two in my little group of friends. Well,
Shannon’s boyfriend too, but he goes to a different school.
I
quickly bring my attention back to the table because Todd doesn’t
even want my friends to know and I don’t want my wandering eyes to
spark questions. “No one.”
“Really,
you looked like you were looking for someone.”
“Nope,”
I say. “So are you guys going to the football game on Friday?” I
know I won’t be able to go because my dad is working, and someone
needs to be home with my sisters, and although Mom will be there,
she’ll probably be in her bedroom. Again.
The
distraction works and they chatter on with their plans for Friday
night and no one is surprised when I say I can’t join them. I zone
out until I notice everyone has stopped talking. When I realize that
their eyes are focused behind me, I look over my shoulder and worry
seeps through my veins. Todd stands behind me with clenched fists and
a blank stare that just barely conceals the anger underneath. My
heart races and my palms sweat as my worry turns into panic.
Something is wrong. Very wrong.
“Savannah,”
he says evenly. “Can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?”
I
glance back at my friends who wear matching shocked expressions. When
their eyes shift back to me and I see the questions forming, I stand
up and mumble, “I’ll be right back.”
I
start to follow Todd when Jared puts a hand on my arm stopping me,
and I turn to see his brow furrowed. “You okay?”
I
open my mouth to respond, but Todd interrupts him with a curt “She’s
fine. Let’s go, Savannah.”
My
gut is a jumbled mess, but I give my friends a half smile and turn to
follow Todd out into the hallway.
When
the cafeteria door closes behind me and the two of us are alone, he
turns to me and pushes me against the nearby wall. “What the fuck
are you doing? Are you trying to make me angry?” he hisses and inch
from my face.
My
eyes widen and my body electrifies with anxiety. I wrack my brain to
figure out what I did wrong, what I did to make him so angry. My
heart races as I stammer out, “I’m sorry. I…I don’t know what
you mean.”
“Why
is that little shit putting his hands on you?”
“Who?
Jared?”
His
jaw clenches and his hand on my arm squeezes tighter, but he says
nothing.
“He’s
just my friend. We’ve been friends since middle school,” I rush
out. Even though, I had a crush on Jared since I’ve known him, my
feelings for him are nothing compared to what I’m feeling for Todd.
“If
he’s just a friend, why the fuck did he kiss you?” His eyes flash
with anger.
“I…I
don’t know. He’s always done that,” I explain quickly.
“I
don’t like him. I don’t want you hanging around him.”
My
face drops. Jared is my friend and has been for a few years now. I
don’t want to make Todd mad at me, but I don’t want to lose my
friends either. “But he’s my friend.”
“That
little asshole wants in your pants, and I don’t want him anywhere
near you.”
My
face flames at the mention of sex. Todd was my first kiss and other
than a few make out sessions, I’ve never done anything more than
that. Jared doesn’t see me that way anyway, so I shake my head. “He
doesn’t.”
His
hand grips me harder and I wince. “So you want him, then huh? Is
that it?”
“What?! No!” I guess,
on some level it’s a lie, but I’m not pining after Jared
romantically anymore. I have Todd and I care about him. I think I may
even love him, so I don’t want him to think that I want Jared. He
might leave me and that thought makes me tense and scared.
“You
sure?” he asks, his face softening a little making the stiffness in
my body begin to melt away.
“Yeah,
I only care about you,” I reply softly.
He
rewards me with a gorgeous smile and my body relaxes completely when
he envelops me in his arms and presses his lips on top my head. He
keeps them there for a few beats allowing contentment to settle over
me.
“I
think you should prove it,” he mumbles against my head.
Excerpt
#2
The
Present: Jed’s POV
It’s
Wednesday now, and I’m watching something stupid on TV. Well, I’m
not really paying attention to the TV. My focus is on Anna who is
curled up next to me, studying some papers. It’s fascinating to
watch her study. She chews on her thumb, tucks a pencil behind her
ear, and her beautiful blue eyes skim across the page. Every so
often, her eyes will narrow in concentration and she’ll pull the
pencil out and jot something down or underline something. Then she’ll
twirl the end of the pencil in between her plump, lush, pink lips.
That’s when I redirect my attention back to the TV, so I’m not
tempted to rip the papers out of her hands and replace the pencil
with my tongue. I try to discretely adjust myself, and try and fail
to get the image of her lips wrapped around the pencil out of my
head, or around my cock… Shit!
When
I glance back down, she’s out and I inwardly chuckle. Here I am
imagining my cock in her mouth and she’s so tired, she passed out
mid-study against me. I’m glad she’s getting a little rest
though, and I take the opportunity to drink her in. She’d probably
be embarrassed that I’m studying her right now. Her cheek is kind
of squished, and her mouth is parted a little more than normal, she’s
beautiful. I take my finger and gently, so I don’t wake her, trace
the line of her jaw and the curve of her nose. I run my finger along
her eyebrows and my dick stirs when my finger travels across those
full pouty lips.
Her
brow furrows and she frowns, and my lips tip down too. Huh.
I wonder what she’s dreaming about.
Her
body tenses into a ridged plank and her face crumples. She looks like
she’s in pain and maybe embarrassed. Jesus,
what the fuck?
“Um…Anna,”
I whisper.
“Sthooooppp.
Wahda ya doin?” she sobs whispering.
What
the hell needs to stop? What the hell is she dreaming about?
I’m starting to panic. Should I try and wake her up? You’re not
supposed to wake people up or they’ll go on a murdering spree or
something, right? Wait, no, that’s sleepwalking. I should try and
wake her.
“Anna,”
I say a little louder and give her shoulder a little shake.
Her
face contorts in agony and whispers, “Ged offa me.”
My
stomach drops and my jaw clenches. Get
off of me?
Christ, I need to wake her up, get her out of whatever hell she’s
in.
“Anna,”
I say louder and shake her shoulder a little harder.
“Pllleeeaassse
sllopp,” she whispers, and then starts to sob tearlessly and nearly
silently.
Oh,
fuck. I’m freaking the fuck out because I’m almost positive she’s
dreaming about rape or something just as shitty. I want to jump in
her head and bash the shit out of her dream attacker. I feel
helpless, and I hate it.
“Anna!”
I yell and shake her hard.
Her
frantic eyes pop open, and she sits up so fast that she almost knocks
me off the couch, her wild eyes searching the room.
“Are
you okay, baby?” I ask and I’m sure the horror and concern are
all over my face.
She
finally stops her frantic searching and when her eyes meet mine, her
face falls and ducks her head, squeezing her eyes closed tighly.
That’s the moment I know. I know this wasn’t just a dream. It was
a memory, and it was exactly what I thought it was. I swallow
thickly, and try not to show an ounce of my rising anger because I
don’t want to scare her. I need to comfort her and make sure she
knows that she’s safe.
“Hey,”
I start softly. “You’re okay, I’m right here.”
“I
should go.”
Wait.
What?!
“I
have school in the morning and you have work and it’s getting late,
sorry I passed out,” she says and lifts off the couch. She moves to
the chair where her coat and school bag are and starts shoving
everything in.
It
takes me a moment to recover from the shock. This is not the reaction
I was expecting.
“Don’t
go right now. Talk to me.” I stand up and approach her carefully.
She
plasters a fake smile on her face, but I can see the panic behind it.
It’s rising, and I can see her hands shake as she puts on her coat.
Ah, shit.
I’m trying to tamp down the urge to physically keep her here, but I
also can’t have her take off in the state she’s in right now.
She
smiles a wobbly smile, and I can see tears forming in her eyes.
“Nothing to talk about, but I should get going.”
I
can’t let her run from me. Not like this, not right now. “You’re
staying. Talk to me.”
She
clenches her jaw and won’t look at me, but continues to put on her
coat and gather her things.
“You
talk in your sleep.”
She
freezes and turns slowly to look at me. Her face is full of pain,
embarrassment, and regret. She opens her mouth to say something, but
then quickly closes it and I see the tears well up again. She
swallows thickly and I can tell that she’s trying with everything
she has not to cry.
“Talk
to me. What happened?”
She
shakes her heads with a tiny jerk. “I’ve got to go.” Before I
can stop her, she flies out the door.
Shit.
I throw on shoes, grab my keys, and rush out the door. She’s
sprinting toward her car, but I’m close behind her.
Fuck,
it’s cold out here. I forgot my jacket.
I
reach her car a few seconds after she closes the door, and I knock on
the window.
Her
head is buried in her hands, and when she finally looks up at me, her
face is tearstained. She looks so tortured and the thought of
something happening to her is tearing me up. I’m fighting against
my conflicting emotions—need to comfort her and rage towards
whoever did this to her.
I
open the door and kneel down in front of her. I reach out to wipe
away a falling tear. “Let me in.”
She
squeezes her eyes closed tight, and then gives a jerky shake of her
head. “I can’t.”
I
take her face in my hands and lean in close. She needs to open up. I
need her to open up. “Did someone hurt you?”
I
can feel her jaw clench under my hands. She looks scared and hurt,
but I can also see the shutters slam down like a steal door. “I’m
sorry, Jed, but I need to go,” she says in a quiet, even voice.
She
reaches for the door handle, but I grab her hand a little too hard.
“You-” I start to say but when her eyes widen in terror, the
words die in my throat. I drop her hand quickly and my mind starts
spinning.
She
shakes her head, and her face turns blank. “I need to go.”
I’m
so shocked that I stand up and step back and she closes her door,
starts the engine, and drives off. The whole time I just stand and
stare. I know it’s fucking freezing out here, but I don’t feel a
thing. As her taillights disappear, I come out of my daze and I want
to punch something. What
the fuck just happened? And
why is this girl trying to drive out of my life? I thought we were
finally getting somewhere. She said on Saturday that she’d open up
to me one day, and tonight was a perfect opportunity. Instead, she
ran. I’m trying to understand that she’s scared and she panicked,
but I’m pissed that she wouldn’t unload on me when I’ve been
telling and showing her that I’m here for her, that she can come to
me. God-fucking-dammit.
My
patience is wearing thin. I know she cares about me, and God help me,
I’m not letting her go. She might be broken, but I’ll help her
put herself back together if it’s the last thing I do.
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